Niche Marketing for the Mommy Blogger

When I first started writing years ago before Sex and the City even came out, it was a fun hobby. Then Sarah Jessica Parker made it seems like this was an actual job that I could do. I kept it on the sideline. Then came marriage, a baby, another baby and so on.  It was put on the back burner while I pursued a career in Operations Management running other people’s companies for them. I reveled in the fabulousness of Carrie Bradshaw until she went off the air and enjoyed reruns and movies and pretended one day when I grow up (then at age 40 in 2014), that I would do this thing they call writing.  I had been sitting on a book idea for a while and thought this needs to be told.  Friends were told about it, loving it, and I was encouraged. I started writing on paper in a notebook in July of 2015 and have been ever since.  I have also tried my hand in the past few months at blogging. Blogging is way harder than you think. I want to make some money doing what I love, being available for my kids while my husband travels for work, and gaining a presence online that will be helpful in getting a book deal. Let’s face it though, I’m no Carrie Bradshaw, but I am embracing this new chapter in life.

What else am I learning as mom in the chapter of life?

1. You must learn something new weekly if not daily.

2. You must find a niche. Key word in our business.

I was struggling with that until I saw that a lot of mom’s blogs and how to build these blogs, but in a mom blog over saturation, most can’t be heard above the noise.  It is the retelling of the same old thing. First time mothers are looking for support everywhere, I did.  But those like me now, with three children...that’s really not where I am. I love talking with other moms, finding what works for them and trying it for myself. A lot just..aren’t. They didn’t invent the wheel and aren’t going to gain my readership because they aren’t giving me new information where I can grow as a parent. How to build a successful readership? Experts all say, “Define your audience.” Words like, “niche marketing” are everywhere. What I am closing in on, is the growth hacking mom. I myself want to read articles that teach me something or shed new light on a subject.  You can write about diaper duty all that you want, but why should we listen to you? Most are not defining that. They crank some articles out with some success, but in the long run can you make that switch to the Big Time? They aren’t honing in on what specific tip makes them better.  I think I can combine my success in my growth hacking blog and cross over into my mom blog universe. If DC and Marvel can do it, then so can I. This is my world for right now, and even though I struggle for my place in the online world, I am evolving. Listening. Participating. Learning. I can shed some light onto this mom blog arena. I think I can be of use, not in writing every little family antidote, but helping shape others into powerful bloggers with a few growth hacking tweaks into their niche, to market themselves better. See below for just a few of the stats you are up against in this mom blog world.

Click The Rise of the Mommy Blogger

                                 for more stats by Sam Laird.

I am a long way from being a blogging niche marketing success story. I have lots to learn, and I want to be involved in writing so I can be present for my children. I may not sit at my lap top with a view out of a brownstone like Carrie, wondering if I should call my editor back yet or go for cocktails, but I have a great view of my backyard with my son and my very own Mr. Big, playing baseball.  That call from the editor, it will come.  I will make it happen.  And when I do, I will be wearing my Manolo Blahniks just like Carrie. I want to do what I love. What I love, is to tell a good story, offer some advice and encourage those who can’t find it in themselves to push forward in their struggles. Now I am here, on The Huffington Post. I plan writing the way I have been doing it so far... one story at a time. I love interacting with other moms; it keeps me sane the way no amount of coffee can. It is a crazy life, but I love it. Making the money at writing will come.  I may be on to this whole niche marketing thing; then again it may be a bust. However, I have some huge social media influencers with over 130K followers that are taking note and retweeting my growth blog posts which is a huge growth factor. Read these influencers tweets and check them out. They know what they are doing.(https://twitter.com/Sam___Hurley). He even suggested this niche market for me so I can weed out the mom blog since the growth hacking blog is blowing up so... I have found my niche! Right now, I am more proud of my growth and what I am doing than any multi-million dollar deal I ever closed. The best part? I am not making a dime, but I am rich in self worth.  I am here for my children and someone else isn’t raising them for me. Now that, is something far more valuable than money.

Death is Imminent: 2 Ingredient DIY Ant Killer

Photo:Unsplash.com via David Higgins

Dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead ants...you know you just sang that in your head to the tune of the Pink Panther. Now that I have you in the right frame of mind...I don't care where you live, summertime brings ants not to just the proverbial picnic, but in the house.  I grew up in the country. In Texas.  Ants come in every year without fail. We start putting everything in the fridge like a safe house for food.  It got crowded in there. You can't find anything.  Chips are cold...gross.

Now that I am a mom, I try tricks to help other mothers out.  That's what I do here. I have kids and a dog-kid.  I don't like the smell of harmful ant spray much less have it cover surfaces that any of them may touch. So I checked the internet and voila! I found something. It tried it. On to the results...please read everything as most of the recipes I found did not work and I changed up something and this made all the difference!!

Easy Steps and Ingredients:

Ingredients:
Equal parts baking soda and powdered sugar

Materials:
Scissors
Several water bottles

1. Determine where you want to put these traps because that will determine how many bottles you need.  I used the recycled plastic kind that make the worst noise and the ones kids like to crush so that they can hear it.  They were easy to cut.  I cut them about three fingers width from the bottom.  I made four to see how it goes.

2. Most directions I read varied a bit and most said to add water to the mix.

I TRIED THIS AND IT DID NOT WORK. IT MADE A PASTE AND SAT FOR A WEEK WITH NO HELP IN THE DEATH OF THESE LITTLE JERKS!

3. Using equal parts, I put about a fingers width deep of baking soda and powder sugar. NO WATER.

4. Place in high traffic ant party zones.  For me, I did the pantry, by the dog food (area) (she never looked twice at this thing). By one of the windows in the kitchen. Downstairs bathroom in a corner by the window.

These little punks run straight into the mixture and some never made it out alive. The key is the can't tell the sugar from the baking soda and that is what kills them. The gas created by the baking soda.

This is what twenty minutes after being on the floor looked like. Death to the ants.

So there you have it. Simple post today, but what a time and money saver this is. I wish I had known this years ago. Get up and go make your own little death traps! Get them out of your house.  I read lots of recipes out there and I saved you the trouble of finding the right one. I am so sweet! Once they got into the marshmallow bag...it was on. No one gets in my marshmallows. No one. Die ants, die.

How the Word "Divorce" Saved My Marriage

I think that if you are going to write about things that people can connect with and relate to, it is going to be from your very soul.  Fluff isn't going to cut it.  There are mom blogs out there that are a dime a dozen.  They are everywhere.  On my rookie growth hacking blog, I did a post about how to be heard over the noise.  That blog is called Growth Pixie and you can find it on my website. but I am not here to cross promote myself.  I am trying to reach out to you because I think as a whole our society depends too much on phones that never leave our hands, much less our sides.  I think it is hindering a whole generation of people who do not know how to communicate. They text, they snapchat and they DM, what they do not do, is talk.  We all did. I had my own phone line. It was awesome. I have always been comfortable speaking in front of crowds, TV interviews whatever it is...I don't get worked up. It is my thing and I am grateful. I am a communications specialist and teaching people how to communicate effectively is part of what I do.  So when things got going rough in my marriage and I tried to communicate with my husband, I shut down. Because he did. Most men can't talk to you. They get the dead eyes and don't want to be talked to.  Women are just better at it and that's the truth. We can talk to each other about anything, anywhere. That is what I am doing here today.

My marriage was never some freaking Cinderella story, but it wasn't bad either. We had three great kids and tons of friends. The summer of 2014 was different. Our kids went for three weeks to stay with relatives in Ohio, we did nothing.  Like nothing.  It was sad.  We didn't even go out at night to a dinner or anything. We come home, make dinner. I go run. He watched TV. I even told him, and I remember clearly, "If this is what it will be like when the kids grow up and move out, we are in trouble."  We had lost our connection. there was no spark.  Sex was never bad, just not frequent, It wasn't a necessity. It wasn't something we focused on anymore.  Someone who tell that you sex isn't everything, is obviously not getting it regular. Sorry, but it is true.  Intimacy is something we all crave. We need the closeness of it all stay bonded to one another. Marriage has many facets that are needed to make it work; this is an important foundation element that we lacked.  Without intimacy, we lose that bond and connection.  A kiss when you come home. A hug. A touch on the arm. Hold hands. It is simplistic, but so many of us are in this same boat and that is why I am writing this.  I got fed up and a few months later after weeks of soul searching I had to make a change.  I was turning 40 and I didn't want to live my life with a roommate. I wanted to be with a partner, my husband. We all work, have kids, football practice, gymnastics, and the like. I get that. But some of us struggle with all of that and become complacent.  We take each other for granted. You can't do that. My husband had figured out that I would never do anything about it other than "gripe" as he put it and then go on and nothing would change.  I had to be the change.  I got the guts up and calmly told him I wanted a divorce. I think that this blew his mind more than anything, because I was so calm. No tears...nothing. I had already left in my mind once I had made the decision.  As much as I hated divorce, and I didn't wanted my kids to not grow up like that, I realized it was much worse for them to witness a marriage where people were no more more than roommates. They needed a good example of a loving marriage. My husband came from a divorced home and he did not get these same examples and he was almost impossible to live with at first. I grew up in a loving home and took that for granted and did change him somewhat; he came around but intimacy was always hard for him. But I wanted more.  I wanted to feel butterflies when he walked in the door like some of my friends. The length of marriage does not make that fade; it was all around me and I was jealous. I wanted to want him, and him to want me.  That is how it should be.
It was ugly. He was mad.  He was hurt.  He had taken me for granted in so many ways. He begged me to give him some time and see if it changed my mind if we could work on things. Not just days, but months.  I was hesitant and really did not see the point, but I agreed to that. My husband started actually listening to what I was saying. We went on dates. We began to listen to each other more.  We talked more. We began to focus on our intimacy together and it was amazing.  We were a "we" once again.

That was the fall of 2014 and this is now and it is still great. Sometimes people don't listen through all of the noise; you think that your spouse is nagging. But stop and really listen. If it is important enough for them to express it to you, then listen to them.  Really listen.  It could save your marriage. This is just what I experienced and if it helps one person out then I did a good thing.  Sometimes people are scared to share things. I am a writer so there is no such thing. Listen to your spouse with your heart, not your ear... like my grandmother always told me.  It makes a difference in the balance of your relationship.  We have kids, we work, we are tired. Even a half hour of intimacy is so worth it; it makes you feel better and keeps you connected. Hold hands on the couch or when you walk into a store. Kiss goodnight and all that mushy stuff we read about. The moment you lose that, speak up...don't wait. Make them understand you and be heard. Remember you married them for a reason; when in doubt of that...remember why you did. Don't let it get to that jumping off point. Listen and be heard. Simple advice for a
complicated subject.

Life Lessons: Bullying & How I Taught My Child They Are Not Alone

I have three children if you are new to my blog.  I have an almost 16 year old (Lord, help me), a 13 year old and a seven year old.  They are all very different. I love them unconditionally.  What I want to share with you is something that happens a lot in the past few years and is escalating. Bullying. I had it hit home with me last year with my 13 year old. Her best friend here is now being bullied by other girls who claim to be her friend.  One of them has been friends with her since she was in second grade.  Where is the loyalty? What is wrong with these children? One thing I see clearly that I want to share with you that may help you or someone you know, don't depend on the school for help.

Before we get into the "why" of that statement let me tell you what I won't do...call up some kid's parents and complain.  Nope. Don't do that. This is what I am seeing from my own experience in the workplace, this 20-30 age bracket right now can't function and want to be spoon fed information when that they need to do is troubleshoot and figure it out before yelling "Help!" I mean I have everything you could ever want for every thing imaginable in a manual just in case. They can't even look at it! They don't and won't. I have had in happen over and over in the work place.  Parents are bailing their kids out of troubles of all kinds left and right. Why? Can't they make mistakes and fall on their faces? We did. We learned a lot from trial and error.  These are life lessons that we need to be teaching them. I am not saying I would not intervene if it was serious, but these kids are disrespectful and depend on their parents to save them.  

When my daughter was being bullied at school last fall, I told her to talk to her counselor.  She did. the counselor called in her friends separately and got statements. They all matched.  Nothing was done.  It continued.  I told her to go back to the counselor and I would follow up if needed. She spoke to her counselor at school once more and I got a phone call. She was handling it and told me that the teachers would be told in case they noticed anything they could help out. Well, guess what? The teachers weren't told diddly crap. I found out because I asked them during conferences.  The saddest part of all...this girl doing the bullying...she was a CHEERLEADER! A school representative that probably had some moral code to upkeep. The most aggravating part was this...the teachers were not shocked. Not one bit. Seems Little Miss Angry Pants has been the thorn in many a girl's and boy's side. Sooooooo, we allow children to do this. Where is the Zero Tolerance Policy? It is not being upheld.  Luckily we moved just two weeks after that, but that doesn't help the countless others left in her wake. Here are some facts about bullying:

1. Over 3.2 million students are victims of bullying each year. 
2. Approximately 160,000 teens skip school every day because of bullying.
3. 1 in 4 teachers see nothing wrong with bullying and will only intervene 4% of the time.

(dosomething.org) for their full list and how you can help.

Which brings me to her friend. This little gal had trouble last fall as well at the school my daughter now attends as well.  Things got so bad I heard that her mother had to go to the Administration building because nothing was being done about the situation. Why is this not being nipped in the bud? Why is this even a thing? This wasn't an issue when we grew up. I don't get it.  Who is to blame? I think there are a lot of factors. But I won't point the finger of blame.

Let me tell you what I will do...I will advocate for my children.  I will let them learn to handle things first and try their best so that as a parent, I do not get involved.  It will help them be self sufficient and learn to troubleshoot.  This is a social and life skill that I see failing so much that 20-somethings are entering the workplace and flake out because they don't know how to troubleshoot due to mommy and daddy did everything for them. I want my children to be strong adults with coping mechanisms.

So yes, I will jump in, but ONLY if absolutely necessary.  This is where the rubber meets the road...these parents? The ones that start dialing teachers and schools right out of the chute? They are the ones that look crazy more often than not (speaking from my experience) their kids are the ones whose doorstep the trouble can be traced back to.  You know that old phrase, "guilty dog barks first"? It was created for a reason...most often times it is true.  That isn't always true, but I am not going to defend the statement. This also has caused teachers to turn a deaf ear on most cases because they hear too much too often. So stop calling over every little thing. Try talking to your children. It helps everyone involved.

Most of you parents should get the point I am trying to make.

• We have to let our children make mistakes and learn from them. 
• We have to guide them on how to solve their problems, not solve the problems for them.
• We have to counsel them on the right and wrongs of social skills and settings; these life lessons are so crucial.
• We have to be mindful of children's feelings an teach them to do the same for others.

I could go on and make a list a mile long.  I have spent some time working in school with children so that I can have more time for my own. This is what I have learned and seen that as parents, that needs to be addressed to stamp out this epidemic of bullying. I love my kids and will fight to death for them if needed, but we are raising some weak minded, disrespectful kids. I hate to see bullying in our schools; if you see it, do what you can to help. As parents, it is up to us to stop it. It starts in the home.

Why did I write this article? I say in my Growth Pixie blog the importance of identifying a problem, and how to solve it. That is what readers want.  This is why I wrote this story:
My daughter learned to not be afraid. She is very timid by nature. She learned to advocate for herself. They expect a lot out of them as they get older in school.  She learned that she is not alone and that there are others who can help; you just have to look hard sometimes.

• You need to learn to talk to adults about problematic situations of any kind. 
• She learned that it is okay to seek help and that there are people here to help. (Like her teachers that once they were told, kept a closer eye on the situation.)
• I talked to her about situations of many kinds so that she learned the difference between dangerous situations and her safety and those that she could turn to her counselor for help.
• I have created a child that can talk to me about anything and everything and that she does not have to be afraid. She is not alone. None of them are. 
• You have to have open communications. No child should suffer alone in the darkness that they have created for themselves.

I am not perfect nor are my children, but as parents we have to share valuable information and insights to help one another, not tear each other down. Talk to your children and talk to each other. We are all in this together, this shaping of the next generation.  This change, it starts with us.

Living with Fibromyalgia: My Struggle to Get My Life Back

Since I got such a great response with such a personal story last time, I felt encouraged enough to do so again. I mean, I always tell it like it is. I don’t sugar coat anything. If you need that, you must be under 18 or something. We are adults. Grown women with real life issues.  I wanted to share with you how I have triumphed over my Fibromyalgia in hopes that any of this advice can help just one person, then that is enough.

I was diagnosed in 1998 at a very young age. It was after a horrible herniated disc episode in my lower lumbar region. I had no idea what to do to fix this this thing the called “FM”; at that time only a few people had heard of it, let alone treated it.

My doctor suffered himself, so that was a blessing. He understood me.  I was young and bounced back with little impairment from it. Fast forward to after having my second child.  My body was not being kind to me.  I had migraines all the time, horrible aches and pains and the fatigue was unbearable.  There were times when I lay my two daughters down for a nap and barely made it to the couch to take one myself.  I would be in tears from the shear agony of the weight of the fatigue I felt.  This went on for a few years and it got better, as it normally relapses and then I suffer and then I would be fine...once again.

I met a doctor at the East Texas Medical Center that was a fairly distinguished neurosurgeon and an expert in the field of FM.  The medicines that I were prescribed had side effects that were way worse than the FM (the truth) so I suffered in silence.

After my third child in 2009, the pain in my hips were awful.  For those of you who are not familiar with this condition, here is the scientific definition as used by the Mayo Clinic:

“Fibromyalgia is a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues. Researchers believe that fibromyalgia amplifies painful sensations by affecting the way your brain processes pain signals.

Women are much more likely to develop fibromyalgia than are men. Many people who have fibromyalgia also have tension headaches, temporomandibular joint (TMJ) disorders, irritable bowel syndrome, anxiety and depression.” Click for the full article here.

I was a textbook example of my condition. I was working as a para-educator at the kids’ school to be more available as a parent, and the classroom smelled good all the time due to the fact that I heated a rice sock in the waist band for one hip, ALL DAY. EVERY DAY. The only relief I had. This is where the depression comes in.  You become hard to live with. I own that. Then the unimaginable happened.  In an unrelated accident, I fell down a massive flight of stairs.  I suffered severe shoulder and knee injuries. I was immobile for months. The swelling was so bad in my knees it took months before they could perform surgery. I don’t care how good you eat, you gain weight if you don’t move. That is just a sad fact.  I was the biggest I had ever been in my life.  Depression escalated, marital problems ensued, my husband got laid off...you can get the image here for yourself.  This was a horrible situation.  

After the surgery, I suffered a blood clot...I was terrified that I would die. They assured me that due to location in my leg, it was unlikely.  

I got better and life slowly got back to normal.  My husband got a job out of state making an excellent salary and drove home once or twice a month. Still stressful, but we were on the mend. I went to make a regular trip to Texas to visit my parents and have a get together with my high school friends. I saw the pictures. I wanted to crawl in a hole.  I was fat.  Like FAT. That is not only hard for my vanity, it is so unhealthy.  I can own that I was fat.  People who get all up in arms about offending others, forget it.  I was fat and I will tell you I was and it is not good for your HEALTH.  That is not who I was and did not want to be.  The health reasons alone were enough. The FM was exaggerated due to the extra weight. By extra, I am talking I am 5’4 and weighed 226.  

This is my before and after pictures..

I don’t even look the same. I initially lost 80 pounds starting in August of 2011. I had tried every diet known to man, cheap and expensive. Nothing worked.  I used HCG and initially lost 40 pounds. That was the kick to get me in gear. I could do this. Plus, I was much healthier now and actually began to work out. I started using an app called My Fitness Pal and could not believe my food journal. All that stuff that I thought wasn’t too bad, was horrible. I was eating around 3000 or so calories a day and didn’t even realize it. You just don’t get what you are putting into your mouth until you see it in black and white. SOo it made my transition easy form HCG to real life food awareness for the future.

I started reading up on the Paleo diet. Which isn’t a diet...I hate that word. It was a lifestyle change. I cut out all bad refined carbs and sugars. I ate nothing that wasn't natural, nothing processed. No dairy.  Holy cow (no pun intended). Let me tell you what, the weight fell off.  Then I got to feeling better because my mood was lifted as well; I started walking, then jogging then even used tough exercise videos. I was in the best shape of my life; I did my first 5k the following spring.  I felt amazing. I looked amazing.  I played with my children.  I didn’t say “no” every time they asked like I did in the past.  I am not a doctor and can not prescribe a regimen for you. You have to take that first step to improve yourself. If I can get off my lazy behind, so can you.  Play with your kids, run around, be silly.  Life looks a lot better when you are actually living it.